When your comment hits a certain point, you need to bring the discussion home.
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I have no interest in Jamie Lynn Spears. I find her television show, Zoey101 to be annoying. It’s a boarding school where kids have no parents present and the teachers are- teachers, so basically each kid has their own apartment and it’s just one reason my homeschooled kids occasionally say “I wanna go to school.”
Still, the fact that she’s a star means we see her on tabloids and now that she’s become a mother, the 17 girls at Gloucester High School and everyone else on earth must be bombarded with stories of her life. As if we cared.
I didn’t realize I had so many opinions until I read Joeprah today, his perspective is somewhat different than mine and I found some of his reader’s comments to be absolutely disturbing.
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Here’s a disclaimer; I didn’t read the OK! magazine article being discussed, I’m hoping Joe did otherwise we could both be wrong, but the points he brought up are worthy of debate. Namely the following (in my own words, not his);
1. Media shouldn’t show a happy teenage mom
2. Media shouldn’t talk about her easy pregnancy and delivery
3. Media shouldn’t quote her first-time mom words of elation & happiness
4. Breaking the above rules makes the media guilty of glamourizing teen pregnancy and puts our daughters at risk
Joe’s commenters weren’t too happy about the situation either, and they had a variety of reasons
The whole celebrity infatuation we have in general infuriates me. Wouldn’t it be nice if they did more articles, showing her missing her prom and stuff? I can only hope that maybe those stupid magazine covers keep one teenager from dumping her baby in a dumpster.
To that, I say very good point. The whole celebrity obsession bothers me, too. When we lived in Seattle we used to shop at a grocery store that advertised an aisle free from tabloid magazines and one free from candy. I’d rather say no to candy than listen to my 5 yr old sound out the words “What men really want in bed” and “Kirsty has cankles.”
This commenter has a very good point about dumpster babies. Several states have “safe haven” drop-off programs designed to encourage teens to hand-deliver their unwanted babies to emergency rooms and other designated “safe” places. Millions of dollars are being spent publicizing these programs.
Millions of dollars are also spent publicizing Viagra. When I watch American Idol or Dateline NBC with my kids in the evening, we get to explain why “Having an erection for longer than 4 hours is cause for concern.” and why a man should “be healthy enough for sexual activity.” What’s the message?
I’m all for increased communication. I like what this article has to say about a few things. Namely, a parent who is regularly HUGGING their teen will notice a pregnancy. Let’s see someone spending millions of dollars promoting that. But I don’t think it’s the teens whose parents are regularly hugging them that end up pregnant, isn’t it the ones who are unattended, being left to navigate the sexually promiscuous waters of high school, and pretend it doesn’t exist.
ATTENTION SOCIETY- You can’t have it both ways.
The teens are full of hormones, humans are the only species that waits a full generation AFTER reaching sexual maturity before reproducing. Why? Because- we have bills to pay, education to finish… But our hormones don’t know that. Several states are currently teaching abstinence only. I totally agree that abstinence should be taught, but where does that leave the ones who screw up. How many times do we tell our kids to close the fridge, turn off the light, don’t hit your sister, don’t go outside without a coat, etc…
When I went to public high school, it was a hugely sexual place. Kids were making out everywhere, and if they weren’t making out they were talking about making out or who they were going to make out with. Sure, we talked about fashion, too and music and which musicians we’d like to make out with, but a large portion of the day was spent exploring sexuality. In healthy class, we watched a horrifying childbirth. It was ridiculous. Many of us said “Goodness, it can’t be that bad, that was stupid.”
You know what, it wasn’t. And I don’t think it’s meant to be.
Some of the commenters were judgemental, like the one that gave this bit of wisdom;
We should absolutely round her and the baby up, put her in a home for unwed mothers and give her baby to a nice WASP couple, then enlist Casey in the Army to go and fight the Nazis!
and then the one that speculated
lol she’s got her money from nickelodeon and her sisters money so a baby to her is no big deal. The average teenage mom is not going to be as excited and have all these perfect experiences. Your right that the media should not be glorifying this.
I wonder what “The average teenage mother” would say if they were polled. Clearly the ones who are keeping their babies would have to, for self-preservation, develop a positive attitude. Not dificult for a teen, since, if I remember correctly, teens already think they’re smarter than the adults around them. I beg to differ and say that if you were to interview the average tenage mom they probably would say that they were excited. Being a mother is exciting. No one can know for sure what the future brings, and no matter what age you are, it is exciting. The feelings of blissful awe that Jamie Lynn described (as quoted in Joeprah) were, I believe, universal. I don’t know many parents who aren’t amazed by their newborns. I am sure they exist, but I don’t know any of them.
Another commenter said;
I hate this. Good for her the she feels her life is still prefect, her baby is perfect… but wait until the colic kicks in, the chronic ear infections, the bickering with her still teenaged baby-daddy, diaper rash, teething… it’s not all rainbows and butterflies, and magazines glorifiying it is irresponsible. I wonder how much media coverage like this factored into the pregnancy pacts we are hearing about lately.
I think the person who left this comment must have had a bad experience. I have 6 kids and we had one that was colicky, until I learned how to use my Maya Wrap and wore her while I made dinner. Apparently, she just wanted to be held. I haven’t had that issue with any of my others. You can’t just assume that every mother experiences these things. Chronic ear infections; In our house we’ve never had one. Ever. I know they happen, but you can’t just assume it will happen to every parent. Teething isn’t that big of a deal either. Diaper rash is preventable and again, with 6 kids I’ve only had 1 kid with a diaper rash that I’d call “problematic” meaning it lasted more than half a day and ended up needing special cream.
One commenter wisely statedUgh…I’m conflicted. Which I think is really the opinion I am inclined to agree with. Instead of being critical, allow her her joy. Like it or not, she’s raising a child and the child deserves love and stability. As much as it annoys me to see that this little girl makes more than I do, her daughter will be taken care of. Probably no better or worse than any other child being born today. This guy was upset; It’s sad. It’s sad, wrong and indicative of societal failure. It’s lovely and all that everything went so well for her, and that her experience was so swell, but it’s not like that every unwed mother. |
I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s indicative of society’s failure. Can Society fail? IS society an entity that’s capable of failure or success, or simply the reflection of everyone’s individual successes and failures? The likeliness that her baby’s dad would stick with her through thick and thin is very slim, and it would be whether she was married or not, young or old. Also, the likeliness that she has the communication and skills necessary to be a wife is debatable. When a marraige fails, why is the husband always the one who didn’t “stick with her?” furthermore, “in this world” there are several different cultures, and ours is just one where girls are expected to finish a course of education and go against their hormonal instincts to pro-create. The tradeoff is a civilized life, and while “every unwed mother” can’t afford such a luxury, neither can every married mother.
Another commenter points out
How come no one points out that she was a minor and he was an adult when he knocked her up? Isn’t that illegal somewhere?
I don’t know enough about the situation to comment on that, but is arresting a young man who is taking responsibility and publicly attempting to be a stand-up guy really the best approach? Why isn’t anyone complimenting him for publicly holding her hand in the delivery room and encouraging her? Becoming a father (no first-hand knowledge here) is probably super stressful and when society is almost ENCOURAGING a young man to walk away, why are we not more excited to see one who isn’t?
Back in the day… There were articles about going to the Prom.
Back in the day… There were articles about that cute couple and just maybe they would go steady.
Back in the day… Any article about teen pregnancy shunned the parties involved.
In this day and age, it is glorified that she had sex and the resulting baby.
What would my grandma think if she were around to see this mockery?
Nuff said…
-MileHiDad
http://www.milehighdad.com/
ahhh, reminiscing over yesteryear, I do that myself at times. Change isn’t always bad, even when it seems like it is. I am sure that when women got the right to vote, people shook their heads, too. “In my day, a woman knew her place… In my day, women left that to the men folk” You might want to remind your grandmother that in her day, divorce was illegal, young pregnant girls were forced into maternity homes to give their babies up for adoption against their will and shamed into mental psychosis, living in a culture where they were forced to have children whether they wanted to or not because there was no such thing as birth control and the church and the state wouldn’t allow a woman to leave a man that was an abusive, cheating, molesting alcoholic. Back in those days, women were dying from knitting-needle abortions. I’ve seen Greece. I doubt there were less hormones in that time, I think they just hid things more. We’ve come a long way, baby.
In our house, we talk. A lot. We point out the issues we had as parents since we started at 19&20 and we point out the things that might have been different in our lives if we had waited until we were older to start a family. We also homeschool and my teenage daughter has social interactions that she chooses, that involve small social groups, that don’t pretend to imitate “the real world” like school does. She goes swing-dancing with a high school/ college group of kids. Dancing with boys is fun, the environment is respectful and there are rules that keep the hormones at bay (no dancing with same person 2x in a row, no means no…) We listen to their impressions of boys and so far, I’m happy with the level of reporting-back-on-every-minute-detail we’ve gotten. Sometimes I think the older kids need more attention than the little ones. We supervise their internet access and since they do come to us with a lot of questions about what they see, I’m fairly confident that they’ve got realistic opinions and views of the world. However, the article at The Common Room states quite succinctly that hormones negate all intelligent behavior and literally intoxicates teens. While I still believe the courtship-thing is comparable to arranged marriages, We’ll be keeping our kids out of the sexually charged environments as much as possible. If it is like a drug then overexposure is simply unfair.
I am so not claiming to be an expert on this stuff- I have six daughters, chances are we’ll screw up somewhere, the odds of creating 6 girls in today’s world that don’t end up teenage parents is slim. I haven’t figured out which one it is yet, but when I do I’ll be secretly encouraging her to be a good, responsible mother and telling the other girls what a failure she is. Prevention, y’know. I’m not glorifying it in my house, and I’m not sweeping it under the rug either. The older ones have been first-hand witnesses of my pregnancies and even births. They’ve seen the emotional ups and downs of post partum hormones and watched me curse this baby bulge. They know that if I were interviewed about early motherhood, I’d be full of sunshine and roses, too. Some of us are just like that. I wonder, does she blog?
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Lotsa crazy crud going down at the Hannigan house. Don’t miss another post,
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